Brain Dump / July 2019

March 29, 2019.

That was my most recent post before today.

I do this frequently: I try to create a pattern of posting and life gets in the way and I can’t post the way I want to so I don’t post at all, and then the inability to post what I wanted to post when I wanted to post it prevents future posts and then I blink and it’s been three months all over again.


This has been much more frequent since having kids four years ago, and it’s hard to parent and work outside the home and be married to someone who works a job and a half outside the home and still have the brain space and time to write at the end of the day. I say this to honor the people who make blogging work as a side-gig – it’s serious work. The pressures to keep up with posting and producing content for money are a big part, along with wanting to avoid ethical stickiness of “influencing” and advertising and reviewing, that I have and continue to just post what I want without partnerships, affiliateships, etc. I don’t get free product, I don’t get paid. I just write when my brain and life line up enough to do so and I enjoy writing about fashion and I think reviews are helpful, so I talk about what I do and don’t like about things when I feel like it. None of that has changed or is changing at this point.

So. Life.

House. The house felt like a disaster most of the spring. We had a squirrel infestation over our front porch that we discovered last summer (August), and we’re still dealing with reset/repairs. The nonstop rains in Missouri have been great for keeping green lawns and flowers into July, but have been awful for farmers and construction/home repairs. We finally got the infestation locked down by March, and it hasn’t been dry enough to get the guys back out (two dry days in a row, during the week) to get the porch put back together. It looks… awful. But we’re almost there, if it can stop raining for a hot minute. In the meantime, the 20+ year-old side porch needs to be reworked and repaired, as 20 years of rain and humidity and life have taken their toll on the wood cladding, porch flooring, and railings. That’s a bigger job than our Fix-It Guy will tackle, though. We need to figure out how to do that, and soon. Inside, I am finally getting to a point, with three kid birthdays since I last posted, where packing and parting with baby stuff is an option, and I’m pretty good with that. I moved some things around while my mom was here for the twins’ 4th bday last weekend and the room feels much bigger and more open.

Watching/Reading. Not a whole lot, really. My brain is full. We just started Stranger Things Season 3, we finally caught up through the end of Season 14 of Supernatural, and I’m still working my way through Midsomer Murders, which I enjoy, if largely for the accent, countryside, and comfortable formula. I’ve been picking my way through some parenting-advice books, because three kids ages 4/4/2 is amazing and hard all at once. Currently reading: Honey, I Wrecked the Kids, by Alyson Schaefer, which I’m finding accessible and neither preachy or too platitudinal. It’s Adlerian in approach, which seems to speak to me the most of the various parenting styles, though in practice I’m a big ol’ mash-up (like everyone else).

Wearing. I am still working my way through my summer/warm weather options, though I did go nuts and make my primary closet back into the colorway capsule that I tried with my capsule in Spring 2018. It feels much calmer. I also addressed the towering piles of “purgatory” items by packing them in two boxes and shoving them into the closet where the dog crate had been set up (we still have the dog, and he’s doing well, but he is no longer using that crate at all, so I reclaimed the space in my secondary closet). I have taken photos of most of my outfits, but obviously haven’t posted since March 29th. I have not been tracking diligently. I need a better system, perhaps, and fewer clothing items, as getting the S/S spreadsheet set up was my ultimate downfall. I’ll post outfits next time, and maybe track at some point if I can get my business together.

Life Changes. I resigned from my attorney position and my last day is at the end of July.

I have so many feelings about this. First, it was voluntary. My employer has been awesome and has allowed me to practice part time since I had the twins four years ago, which has been amazing. But I’m married to a full-time (plus) attorney, and as the twins have gotten older and we’ve had a third child and everyone is becoming a more active and involved, parenting takes a whole different level of brain space. So when my employer asked me to increase my hours and consider going full time (which I fully appreciate is what the firm needs), the Hubs and I had a heart-to-heart and decided that the cost (financial and other) of full time work didn’t make sense right now. So I resigned. I have no idea what I’ll do next, or when. I am really looking forward to spending some more time with the kids at home, and tackling some deferred home organization projects (things that haven’t been touched since we moved in the day before the twins were born). I am looking forward to having a break and trying to figure out what I want most from my career – is more money enough (we’ll save money versus me working outside the home)? What about better perks, like a pension or college tuition assistance? What about work I can leave at the office, or that lends itself better to a part-time schedule (c.f., litigation)? What about something law-adjacent, or not in the legal field at all? I hope to answer these questions, and maybe sooner rather than later, but hopefully to everyone’s satisfaction…

Henry and Anna turned FOUR in late June. They are amazing and challenging and I really like the people they are becoming more and more each day. They are master boundary-finders, and their creative play and imaginations floor me. They are really neat right now.

Lora turned TWO in late April. My baby is two! She is talking up a storm, and it’s so amazing to be able to chat with her. She says “watch me!” “help me!” and “all by myself!” with equal frequency, though I think her favorite word remains “NO!” – becauseĀ two. She’s fantastic.

Everyone stayed up for fireworks this year! It went surprisingly well.

I am really happy being a family of five, though we haven’t figured out what to do yet with the remaining two embryos. So, nothing. Nothing for now.

The Hubs and I also celebrated twelve years of marriage early in June, which is crazy. We’ve been together 16 years now, which is more than one third of our lives, and closing in on half. What?

I turned forty-one last week. That’s also weird, but totally OK.

More again sooner than later I hope. x

Leave a Reply