This fall feels busy. Not good, not bad, but hectic. Here’s a little bit of everything.

Fix #28

First, I cannot believe I’m on my 28th Fix! I provided a sneak preview of what they were sending and I was prepared (the prices – oof) to send everything back and trudge on toward CC-debt-free living, but then I tried things on. It’s the ready reminder to ALWAYS try things on. Cute things in photos fit different bodies in different ways and material matters – to drape, to comfort, to function, to goals. Here’s the preview to refresh:

First impressions: 
Cute boots, but maybe too similar to my old (2011ish) Dolce Vita ones from Mod Cloth; eh on the silk blouse, maybe on the jeans, boring cashmere, boring button-down. Return all, save hundreds. Easy enough. 

The try on:

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Dammit. 
It took me pretty much every minute of my three days to decide what to keep and what to return! I waffled every second of  it. Had budget been no matter, I’d have kept it all. Had I behaved, I’d have returned it all, having spent my October clothing budget on workout leggings, new underwear, and a few impluse-fill-perceived-closet-hole purchases from Target over the last few weeks.

Once I decided I could keep one quality item, the budget was blown. The cheapest item was the jeans ($88), but they were my least favorite (jeggings material, felt dated in their fit, though quite flattering). I liked all three tops a lot, but the button down was summer-weight and I loved the boots, but the part that showed really was so similar to the ones I already own, and despite the Tahara (Fix) boots being so stinking comfortable, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to size down half a size and that felt complicated. So I was between the silk and the cashmere.  Going into winter, I knew the cashmere would be a workhorse and get lots of wear, but I was really excited about the silk blouse. I picked the blouse, because it was more special, but couldn’t pack the cashmere. I picked the sweater, because it was so practical, and couldn’t pack the silk. So I blew the budget and kept both.

I wore the sweater on Saturday (see below) and the silk on Sunday (see below). #noragrets 

I did, in penance, cancel my Fixes for the rest of the year. I’ve gotten the bang for the $49 bucks for the Style Pass, and it resets in January, so my next fix is due 12/29 and shouldn’t force a choice before I get paid on the 28th, even if it comes early. Safe enough,  but it’s tough knowing I’ll likely carry debt into 2019. Still, focus on the good, and I’ve made great progress since the balance high of 11/2017 – I’ve paid off over $3000. This is useful on its own – it means I truly have about $250 in truly “discretionary” spending beyond my current budget, because that’s my average monthly debt reduction month over month. How is this helpful? I need to limit my budget (clothing or otherwise) expansion to no more than $250 per month, and perhaps most, if not all, of it should go to savings instead. 

Outfits Th. 10/25- Su. 10/28

I had a couple of quick-change days in here! Lots of opportunities to try things on, and some thoughts about slow decluttering.

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Thursday, it was rainy and foggy, so I decided to break out my Joules for Target rain boots. Confession: I think they are a half size too small. Confession: this would normally be a dealbreaker but they are so pretty and so infrequently worn that I’m willing to suffer for fashion for now. I baby my feet most of the time these days – my mom’s side has so many feet issues and they never recovered from young-lawyer-in-stiletto days (followed by still-young-lawyer-in-cheap-flats days), and especially after my feet grew when I was pregnant with H&A, I am quick to pass along something that no longer fits. I might upgrade these to something in a better size (they are a 9 but fit like an 8.5), but they really are just lovely and make me happy otherwise. That said, if (really, when) I ever replace them, I’d be really tempted to get a pair of tall Hunters in hunter green or black (the slate is pretty, too), or something similar from another classic brand, or get a pair of chelsea-style boots (price is friendlier!) that would be easier to wear all day/more frequently/to work on icky-weather days.

The sweater is secondhand TOMS for Target. It’s cheap and scratchy and the fit is weird. I don’t think it will survive the spring purge, TBH, though it had potential. It runs quite small (this is a medium) and the side slits are too high for a fitted sweater. I like the metallic thread – it adds a pop of festivity to what would otherwise be a boring oatmeal sweater with a weird fit… but I’m not sure it overcomes being a boring oatmeal sweater with a weird fit nonetheless. I’m wearing it over my Jayhawks (band) tee, simply because the rest of my white tees were in the laundry and I wanted to keep the palette simple. 

The jeans are Level 99 Gloria straight in a very dark blue from Fix #1. They fit okay but the rise is too low for my tastes these days and they fit more like skinnies than straight jeans. That said, they are good enough and flattering enough and useful enough that I hope to wear them out.

Friday. Friday started cool and overcast, but dry. I had to get L to physical therapy and wanted something stretchy. It was supposed to hit nearly 70F, so I decided to go with bare ankles and try to fall in love again with my Modern Loafer from Everlane. It worked. I also was so happy to have the chance to wear this sweater, but discovered that, even after mending, there are at least two moth holes. So I will be parting with it. 

I have been getting great use out of the sweater jacket I picked up when the twins were a little over a year old. I decided to top it with my ancient (2001/2002) Columbia system shell for a steady drizzle when I drove to work after L’s PT appointment. Things like this I struggle with. I almost never reach for it, in most circumstances there are other things I prefer to choose. I could get something new that fits and flatters and feels better with new technology. But I don’t want to spend money on something that is, right now at least, a niche need for me. So is this my buy it once/buy it for life system jacket? Unless I take up regular skiing, it might be.  It’s the most sustainable option, and the most budget-friendly, for sure.

Level 99 jeans (again!) and Modern Loafers rounded out the look. At this point, I love (love) the Modern loafer with a socklet, but struggle with them, still, with bare feet. 

Saturday. I started by taking the kids to swim lessons with the hubs, and I never dress up for that unless we have specific plans afterward; the risk is too high I’ll get mess on me – crumbs from snacks, water from the pool, or whatever. I pick comfortable clothing that can hang in a locker for an hour and make two 5-minute trips and plan to chance if plans dictate. This Saturday was one such occasion. That night, we had a hayride in a nearby (and gorgeous) park. This outfit marked two “news” – the new Fix sweater (cashmere!) layered over a black tank and under my Stitch Fix anorak (not pictured) with “re-Purgatoried” Level 99 Bootcut jeans (not part of my list and not-readded because I’m not planning to keep them even after this probationary wear) with my Nisolo Dari boots. Very happy with this look, but the jeans failed in the same way they failed me before: they are too big and slide down fiercely when I move, so I must wear them with a belt. No thanks. They will be resold.

Sunday was a two-outfit day, too, and also “double-new” – in the morning, we went to our niece’s church to see her baptized. I wore the new silk blouse, but stumped for what to pair it with, grabbed pants I’d set aside for summer wear (REI hiking trousers) to pull the gray dots from the blouse, and paired both with my Nisolo boots and sweater jacket. I was happy with the look and found a wardrobe hole – I would like a wool or other high-quality pair of wide/straight leg trousers in a nice mid-gray flannel or the sort for my winter work/church wardrobe. 

After church, we stayed home and opted out of some other plans in favor of carving pumpkins for the first time with the kiddos (in the past, we got pumpkins but left them intact for the duration of the season). I switched into a nursing-friendly sweatshirt from Latched Mama, kept the pants (which were inherently casual), and swapped the heeled boots for my Birkenstock Bostons, which are a full size smaller than I normally take but which still, inexplicably, work with my larger-post-kids feet.

I’m thrilled with our jack-o-lanters! The kids are really looking forward to trick-or-treating. In St. Louis, kids tell jokes – trick for a treat – and the twins are practicing theirs. Depending on when you ask, they usually offer:

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. (Classic.)

What do you call a fish with no eyes? FSH! (Say it out loud.)

What is a ghost’s favorite fruit? BOOberries! 

or
Knock Knock! Who’s There? Interrupting Cow! Interrupting Cow W-MOOO!

And that brings us to today, Monday. I was running late and kept it simple, trying again this striped u-back Target tee (on the fence about this one), paired with my Icebreaker cardigan, Old Navy mustard skinny pants, and Modern loafers. I don’t love the warm camel of the sweater jacket with the almost-green that photos pick up in the mustard, but I’m happy with the jacket and the outfit as separate parts. I like that with this sort of outfit, I’m warm and happy at work, but could swap for one of my jackets on the back door at work and be court-ready in a pinch, too. Over the years, as I’ve played with capsule wardrobes and ethical/sustainable brands, as well as bicycling as transportation (still largely sidelined due to exhaustion/ambivalence, I’m afraid), my personal style got a lot more casual and I’m not sure it has felt truly authentic. Purchasing these nicer pieces from Stitch Fix made me realize I’m happiest in tailored pieces for work, so I’d like to focus on keeping those items and maybe letting some other things go. I also like more tailored (as opposed to stretchy) things on my postpartum body. 

Progress Report, General.

So this is a pretty easy segue into where I am, basically, and how I’m feeling about things. This is a long post already, but I want to capture some of this while it’s fresh. 

Budget.
Behind goal, but fairly thoughtfully so. I will pay off in early 2019 if I don’t accomplish the goal by the end of the year, and I’m okay with that. Current balance is $2407.88, down from high of $5318.67, and up from statement of $1997.81. Overall, at this moment, I’m down $2910.79, and expect to be able to pay just enough to pull back under $2000 for statement closing , which will keep me on track, but not advance me much this pay period. I hope to be at $1000, exclusive of bonus, by year end. It’s not as satisfying, but I’m really, really tired of having a limited clothing budget when my body is trying to figure itself out after four years of stretchy clothing and weight fluctuation! Some of my standbys are 5 or more years old, and show it.

Decluttering.
In line with the above, I’m looking forward to tallying things and reviewing wears not only for October, but at the end of the winter season to see what gets used. I am pushing myself to grab a few things I’d have otherwise ignored, and I’m conscious of the things I’m looking at and no longer want (but will try to wear over the next few months to be sure). Wear counts are increasing as I’m now six weeks into the capsule, and I’m finding things to purge as I go, which feels less frantic and much more organic and authentic. 

I’m also practicing a shift. LOVE this post from Elaine about authenticity in a word of “courtesy of” blogging/influencing/reading. It made me glad I don’t do any sponsored content (I’ll share my personal referral links for Stitch Fix or Everlane if people want them and get the standard available-to-everyone benefit, but I have total control over what goes on my body and my thoughts about it, and I like that. It was really nice, too, to have the reminder that there’s no point in trying to keep up with your favorite bloggers – they can’t afford the lifestyle they are modeling most of the time either…

And I was also thinking about how much I love the most random things my favorite bloggers wear. I mean, just like others, I see everyone wear the same Jamie and the Jones heavyweight sweater and Jesse Kamm sailor pants and Elizabeth Suzann…everything, and want some of that for myself, even though the more attainable Everlane prices are a stretch for my budget at times (cashmere, outerwear, and shoes, in particular). But someone’s thriftstore find, or the old big-box thing that somehow worked as a workhorse staple for years – the thing that fits in without being part of the standard curated ethical wardrobe that makes that person’s look _just enough different_ from everyone else who is writing about the same things… there’s value there, too. And that’s why I’m forcing myself to revisit things I’ve had since 2003 but haven’t work since 2012… and if they still don’t work, hey, I tried and they had a great run.